Kicked off Facebook & its friends

but I'm not bitter.

Apr 06, 2023

I love to talk with people. Always have. Still do, although in my “old age” I’ve learned the value of meditation, being quiet, listening to my self-talk, and savoring my alone time, too. Social media can be such fun for us of the extrovert persuasion. It’s a convenient way to stay connected with friends and family who don’t live next door, just down the street, around the corner, or in the next village. On September 20, 2022, a day or so after my personal Facebook page was hacked, much of my social media tribe disappeared.

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Like millions, when Facebook came online in September 2006, I jumped on its bandwagon. I loved it. As its versions got better, so did my involvement. As my iPhone synced, like millions (maybe even billions), so did my multiple-times-a-day postings about what was going on in my life. During those many years, I counted myself lucky for never having my account hacked. I just kept posting to thousands of my personal Facebook followers - horse lovers, travelers - and friends both at home and abroad. When I found that my Facebook page was chuck filled with so much information it was difficult to find things, I organized it into folders. I tagged people and locations and edited photo captions for clarification. Heck, I even began each day by visiting the birthday list and sending emoji-laden salutations. When organizing wasn’t enough, I added other pages - one for our horse farm (bringing followers along on three location moves), one for each Arabian breeding stallion, and one to complement my blog, Arabian Horse Travel. You get the idea.

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Initially, when I realized my personal Facebook account was hacked I wasn’t worried. I knew there were steps I could take to get it back. Cut to four days after doing all the prescribed actions, Facebook emailed me to say - and I’m paraphrasing: ‘Sorry, we’ve closed your account permanently because you’ve violated our platform rules. This action cannot be undone. Good-bye.’ And my login no longer worked. I had no access as the administrator to the pages for our two stallions, and most importantly business-wise my Arabian Horse Travel Facebook page was gone. Sit with that reality for a moment. Trust me, there is no one to live chat with on Facebook in its Customer Service area. No one to telephone, email, or snail mail at its corporate headquarters in Menlo Park, California. Despite countless offers that came through my Twitter account when I asked for help, there is no hacker at any price who has the magic keys to the Facebook dungeon to appeal the conviction and free my Facebook account. Bless my countless friends, family, and colleagues who found this ‘incredulous” and asked, “Have you tried …?” I had to come to the cold truth that all the Facebook love (content) that I had built was gone - forever. And, that wasn’t all.

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Facebook owns Messenger, so I lost my ability to use its call feature and its newly launched Facebook Pay. Facebook also owns Instagram. My personal Instagram with all of its content, followees, and followers was lost. Not being able to use WhatsApp - yes, also owned by Facebook - dawned when that app stooped working because my cell number is the same one registered to my personal Facebook and its associated Instagram account. Primarily, WhatsApp was how I stayed in touch with my well-traveled friends and family who live abroad.

There was nothing to do. I wept. Undoubtedly, I touched every step in Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief. I lingered in denial and anger for quite some time. Since there was no one to bargain with, save a higher being, I dabbled a bit in depression over the entire damned situation, then an interesting exchange with my husband Ian got me to acceptance. This is the ‘but I’m not bitter’ resolution. LOL

IMHO, and yes, I’m biased, Ian is a brilliant Agile business consultant. Recently, when attending a series on building an online business, Ian’s workshop presenter shared how she had built her coaching business completely on Facebook. For a couple of years, she had established several private, interactive groups of paid subscribers with active sales funnels making for a well-oiled income machine. Then, one day, without notice, explanation, or recourse, access to all her group pages and her subscribers was all gone. *Proof* Now that is a stinging lesson. Why can Facebook do that? Simply because Facebook doesn’t charge us to be involved on its platforms, it owns all the content because it is Facebook’s land. The presenter’s lesson and message to others is:

“Never build your house on someone else’s land.”

When Ian said those words, I stepped up to acceptance and was able to move forward out of my grief and come away with direction, and without bitterness.

My idea with Substack is to talk with you about many things, and as I grow as a writer I hope that my information is worth a shekel or two. While this current free version is not my land, I have two websites - my blog Arabian Horse Travel and the freelance site where I catalog my published articles - that are my property. I will cross-post Janet Writes when my musings fit those platforms.

Lastly, my social media story isn’t all bad. I do have another personal Facebook page, but I’ll admit to being a tad gun-shy to build it up to its former glory. For whatever reason, my Arabian Horse Travel Instagram (←-follow me) works in an acceptable yet limited fashion. And, the best news may be that I’m here chatting with you, and I’m not bitter. LOL

Janet Writes

Kicked off Facebook & its friends

but I'm not bitter.

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